83. English - Briton vs Asian

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below - Ours is simple, 
short, concise, straight-to- point, effective etc........ 

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS 
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you 
want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the 
other outlets for you. 
Asian : No Stock. 

RETURNING A CALL 
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? 
Asian : Hello, who page? 
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY . 
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way? 
Asian : S-kew me 

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY 
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me. 
Asian : No-need, lah. 

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION 
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to 
enter through this door? 
Asian : (pointing the door) can ar? 

WHEN ENTERTAINING 
Britons: Please make yourself right at home. 
Asian : Don't be shy, lah! 

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE 
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money. 
Asian : Where got? 

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER 
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind. 
Asian : Don't want la... 

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION 
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where 
you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you 
said about the issue. 
Asian : You mad, ah? 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE. 
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying 
to concentrate over here. 
Asian : Shut up lah! 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU. 
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. 
Do I know you? 
Asian : See what, see what? 

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. 
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment. 
Asian : Die-lah!! 

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED 
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened? 
Asian : Wat happen Why like that.... 

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG 
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you, 
Asian : like that also don't know how to do!!!! 

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY 
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me 
Asian : Celaka u

3. Killing English

Killing English ��


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Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"



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once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."



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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.." =))



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dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....



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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)



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teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!



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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"



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My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"





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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board



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"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"



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LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"



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Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"



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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father



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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"



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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??



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Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away