103. Funny phone answering messages

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right
now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it
up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a
message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back .

2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

4. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their
carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their
picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone
number and they will get back to you.

5. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number,
and your reason for calling..... and I'll think about returning your call.

6. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets.

7. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank,
you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me
money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

8. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're
not here. So, leave a message.



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